I am told the average hardback print run for an unknown author is no more than 10,000 Piled around us are 40,000 copies of The Olive Readers I am feeling nervous. Katie James, my publicist, presents me with a list of interviews.A women's magazine describes me as a toilet-cleaning, debt- ridden, downtrodden single parent rescued by Richard and Judy. I wonder how long I can go on like this.SEPTEMBER 2005I visit the printers to see my book come off the press. I am beginning to feel even more pressured.AUGUST 2005We are at the proof stage Some of the changes I agreed have been changed again. I obsess over a simile that I know does not work but, given enough time, I will improve it But there isn't the time Maria "corrects" it and I can't sleep Suddenly the right words come to me, and it's changed. The Olive Readers is to be sold in the supermarkets, but Asda says it will not be taking any hardbacks after the first week in October The publishers change the deadline. I am told a publishing date has been set in November.JULY 2005We are quickly getting through the editing.

Maria and I rarely speak to each other, and communication is through e-mail. The editing process is difficult and emotional - I can't always agree with Maria and sometimes I think we are working on two different books, but I can also see how Maria's editing has given pace to the narrative. I am exhausted and sleep for several days.JUNE 2005The first edit arrives in the post and I burst into tears It's as if I have handed my baby over to strangers. When I'm not writing, I collapse on the sofa and watch detective thrillers.I hand over the second half.

It's a first draft as there isn't time to work further on it, although I do manage to negotiate a reworking of the last chapter. I had planned to kill off one of the characters, but can't do it as I have grown fond of her. The solution comes to me while I am walking on the beach, but it's a more complicated ending.I hardly leave the house except to visit my mother. I should find someone to come and do my washing up as I am no longer capable of doing any housework.MAY 2005I am now writing until the early hours I still don't have an ending.